Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Quarterlife

Quarterlife hit network TV tonight. I wonder what effect it will have on the blogosphere. Will people like me remember their half-forgotten blogs, come online, and try to make something of it.

The show certainly made me realize that I don't write as often as I need to. Hell, I hardly write at all. I used to dream of being a writer. I don't have dreams very much anymore. I just feel like that dreaming part of my is atrophying as I spend my time trying to make enough money to pay the bills, the child support, the rent, the car lease. And I know it's my own fault. I have no self-control. It's why I'm fat and lazy, two things I don't want to be but I just can't seem to find the motivation to do anything.

I don't know who I am or who I want to be anymore. Nothing seems to fit anymore.

I'm nearly divorced now. The papers arrived at the house on the Friday. They were there unopened when I went to pick up the boys for the weekend. I skimmed through them and signed them. S was going to sign them and send them back to Ms. Lawyer on Monday, yesterday. So, maybe later this week I'll be the so-called free man.

But it really won't make much difference, will it?