Monday, July 21, 2008

Heather B and Bad Prom Night Memories

[Written on July 10, but posted late.]

I wasn't always the well-adjusted, polite, thoughtful megalomaniac that you know and love today.

Wednesday night, after rehearsal, I stopped in at Starbuck's for a cuppa and ran into Heather B, who was working there part-time. I went to high school with Heather B, and very nearly went to the senior prom with her. In fact, I asked her to go, even though I really didn't want to at the time. But time was running out, and in my teenage mind, getting to the senior prom was a very important thing to do. And there it was, the week before prom, and I didn't have a date.

I found out that Heather didn't have a date yet and asked her. I found out soon after that Stephanie, the German foreign exchange student, didn't have a date either. So I snuffed Heather and asked Stephanie. Now, I don't remember the order in which things happened, but Heather actually said yes to my offer, which means I basically dumped her, leaving her dateless the week before the prom, to take Stephanie.

I felt bad about it at the time, but, if it's possible, I feel worse about it now. It was a really idiotic, selfish, small-minded thing to do. But I think I paid for it. Stephanie was carrying a torch for one of the Schatts twins — maybe even the one who was, at the time, dating my future ex-wife. She (Stephanie) had no interest in me (well, I had no real interest in her, either). I was little more than a way for her to get to the prom without going stag. (Do women go stag? Or do they go doe?)

On top of that, I went with a group that included my own ex-girlfriend, for whom I had mixed feelings. I was definitely the odd man out in this group.

So, Heather B, if by some stretch of the imagination you stumble across this blog post, I apologize for how I treated you during this whole senior prom process. I was a real dick. If it's any consolation, I had a horrible, expensive time, and I'm sure I would have had a better time with you.

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