Friday, October 13, 2006

Anxiety Attack

On Wednesday night, shortly after posting that gibberish about Chasing Cars, I went to a rehearsal for an IWS chamber concert. As soon as I got there, I started feeling weird -- my insides started tensing up, I got a little light-headed, and I had to focus on something to keep from losing my balance. But I soldiered on.

As rehearsal continued, I was hit by waves of nausea, my body couldn't seem to control its temperature, and I generally felt really really bad. I must have gotten up three times just to go out in the lobby of the church and walk around, trying to regain my calm.

I mostly made it through rehearsal and then high-tailed it outta there. I didn't get much better on the drive home, so I drove myself to the ER.

Now, I hate hospitals. I'm glad they're there, in the way that I'm glad that colonoscopies are there. I'd rather not have to experience either. But just being in a hospital, whether I'm the sick on or not, makes me tense and anxious.

The ER was rather busy that night, so I waited around for nearly two hours -- not sure whether my exhaustion was just me being tired or was a symptom of something more sinister -- before I got to see a doctor.

The short of it is, my blood sugar was fine -- no diabetes. An EKG came out normal -- no arrhythmia. It was most likely an anxiety attack. It was similar to the one I had at the end of the last concert (see previous post), but not as intense in the beginning.

It was midnight before I left, and I took a sick day on Thursday to rest and recuperate and try to figure out where I could reduce some stress. As it turns out, the answer is EVERYWHERE. The problem, though, is that to eliminate a lot of the stress in some areas increases the stress level in the biggest area: finances.

But I have a plan, and hopefully this situation will be only temporary.

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