I'm Avuncular Again!

avuncular: Having the qualities of an uncle — genial, generous, tolerant

My best friend Jean had her baby early this morning, five weeks early. At under five pounds, little Lillian Page is pretty tiny, but both people involved appear to be healthy. I'm excited about being an "uncle" again.

Drew Peterson: Homicidal Don Juan or Lucky Bastard?

Drew Peterson's third wife was murdered, and Drew himself is a suspect. Then his fourth wife went missing, and again he is a suspect. And now, this 55-year-old is engaged to a 24-year-old woman.

I've had one date in, well, let's just say since Drew's wife went missing. I only have one past wife, and she's still alive and well. I'm not a suspect in any police investigations (or, if I am, I've never been alerted to the fact). How does Drew manage to find a woman 31 years his junior and get engaged? It just doesn't seem fair.

Having watched their interview on The Today Show, perhaps I shouldn't be too upset. This particular young lady doesn't seem like the sharpest needle in the haystack. Perhaps I just have higher standards than Mr. Peterson. (I know, I know -- whatever let's me sleep at night.)

One of the oddest things things that came out of the interview was that, between the two of them, they have eight children, with one grandchild on the way. That means that this young lady will be a grandmother (step-grandmother?) at 25. That's just wrong.

Good luck to her. I hope she doesn't get murdered. I hope she comes to her senses before the wedding and finds a nice younger guy who's maybe only ten or twenty years older than she is.

A New Kitchen, and Then Some

The contractors were here nice and early this morning -- 8am. I guess I was the only one up and ready to go -- they started on my kitchen right away, even though I'm on the second floor. If I wasn't so overloaded with stuff at work, I would have been excited about the kitchen renovation all day long.

I came home to find a beautiful new kitchen. Pix below. New fridge, new range, new cabinets, new countertops. They even replaced the sink (including some more stylish fixtures) and the dishwasher. I didn't think they were going to replace the dishwasher.

My new sink with brushed-nickel faucet even comes with a sprayer. W00t!

My new Whirlpool oven with the clock set to the wrong time.
There's a light in the oven; I'm livin' the high life now!

They even replaced the countertop and cabinet in the bathroom.

That's me in the ugly Hawaiian shirt.

They also replaced all the door knobs with stylish handles, and the three cheap ceiling lights in the hallways and bathroom with nice, frosted-glass lights. They already raised my rent this year, and from the looks of things, I can expect them to do it again next fall.

My inaugural dinner in my new stove was baked to perfection:



I only wish I would have taken a"before" picture. (Of the kitchen, not the dinner.)

I spent all of Monday night getting everything out of the kitchen and into boxes and bags in the dining room. I'm procrastinating on moving everything back. Why ruin such a pristine kitchen?

Good News for Foot and Kitchen

Good news was waiting when I got home from work yesterday. I got a bright green note from the apartment complex that my building is on the list for kitchen renovation next Tuesday. This is the same kitchen renovation I've been looking forward to since last April. Monday night I'll be emptying everything in the kitchen except the fridge -- all cabinets, the drawer under the stove, the top of the fridge. Not to mention all the junk. (If you've seen the state of my kitchen, you know this is a big job.)

What do you think are the chances that it will go smoothly and quickly, and that I'll be enjoying a new kitchen Tuesday night?

I also got good news this morning. The swelling in my right foot has gone down quite a bit. It still looks uglier than what's in the previous pictures (moer bruising and burst capillaries), but it's gone from bratwurst to frankfurter. When I have the boot on, I can even put some pressure on it, so I've been able to hobble around with only one crutch.

I might have to go find myself a nice cane this weekend.

Good News, Bad News, and Ugly Photos

The Evolution of a Fractured Fibula

The bad news is that I cracked the base of my fibula — that bump that sticks out on the outside of your ankle. The ER folks put a hard splint thingy on it. Of course, my toes stuck out and just sat there being cold. Here's what it looked like, with Homer giving me a little warmth.

That's the nice view. Underneath that elastic, flesh-toned exterior lies an increasingly purple and swollen hoofer:

You can see the swelling there in my right foot, compared to my left.

The good news (I guess) came on Monday, when I saw the orthopaedist. They fitted me for an expensive, ill-fitting, open-toed ski boot:

I thought the splint was uncomfortable. My foot is forced into a 90-degree angle, which my swollenness does not appreciate, and I can't move anything. I suppose I shouldn't complain too much, though. It isn't a big plaster thing, and I can take it off to (very carefully) bathe.

I was kind of hoping for a little shake-up in my life, for something to change. This isn't really what I had in mind.